


If I'd Only Come and Gone

by pebbles403



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Action & Romance, Awkward Romance, Blood and Violence, Drama & Romance, Multi, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Violence, Psychological Drama, Sexual Violence, Stalking, Teen Romance, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2018-12-09 04:23:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11661552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pebbles403/pseuds/pebbles403
Summary: Charly left Patrick 10 years ago. They find each other again, but will things be different this go around? Will they be able to make it work? Will they be able to get past the pain and sorrow that life has already thrown at them?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to say that it has never been my intention to upset or misrepresent anyone in any way. I have done extensive research for this story, so I did not go into it blindly. If there are any issues, missteps, or something that I have just blatantly done incorrectly, I would like feedback that will help me correct those issues. That being said, enjoy this new story from me. I have several chapters written already, so I will try to adhere to a schedule of uploading a chapter a week so that I don't fall into the same trap that I usually do. Thank you to all my readers as always and I hope you will continue to read my stories and let me know what you think!

**Charly/Cori POV**

 

 

"Charly?"

There it was. A voice I hadn't heard in person in over 9 years, calling me a name I hadn't used in as many years. I hesitated before I turned around. I had hoped that he had forgotten about me honestly. The entire reason I had left had been to keep him safe and let him lead a normal life. He had deserved to have children, and let's be honest, I could never give that to him. Not that I didn't want children of my own, but I knew that he would have been happier having biological children.

I turned around and smiled. He smiled back and I melted like I always had. God, he was beautiful. His entire face lit up like a child's on Christmas morning and I knew that he had been waiting on me all of these years. He hadn't forgotten about me, and it seemed that he wasn't too angry after all of these years. Oh boy, this was going to be a difficult conversation to have.

"Hey, Patrick." My voice was soft and didn't betray how nervous I was feeling.

He walked back to me and immediately wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his body. I inhaled and sighed at his scent. He smelled of Starbucks and spearmint gum. My knees went weak when he kissed my cheek and the spearmint smell intensified. He always had the most pleasant smell. "How have you been? It's been ages since I last saw you."

I picked at my nails as I answered. "I've been good. I just moved back to Chicago this year. I went to New York for a while. How have you been? I mean, I've seen that you and Elisa are doing well. You have a beautiful son."

"Well, we were doing okay." His left hand started to run through his hair and landed on the back of his neck, rubbing back and forth. "Elisa and I are getting a divorce."

My hands shot up to my mouth. "Oh! I'm so sorry Patrick." I placed my hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. "You two were so perfect together."

He smiled, but his eyes held a sadness in them. "Not really. I've had perfect before, and this was a moderate replacement at best. I miss you honestly."

My face fell and my eyes darkened. "Please don't say that Patrick. She could give you things that I never could and you know it."

"I could have been happy without biological children Charly. All I ever wanted was you." He looked sincere and he reached toward me before letting his arm drop to his side.

I looked him in the eyes. "Are you happy with your son?"

He smiled as he thought about Declan. "Very much so."

"I rest my case, Patrick." I shifted back and forth on my feet. "Look, it's been great seeing you and catching up, but I really have to go. I'll see you around." I turned and left quickly not giving him time to stop me again. I faintly heard him call for me, but I kept walking. I couldn't derail his life just because I wasn't over him. He did say that he missed me though. No. He was remembering the old days. There's nothing there but memories and infatuation.

When I finally made it home, I was in my own little world, so I didn't even notice that my sister Carol-Ann was home from her vacation. She had taken two weeks off to go to the Florida Keys. She owned her own business, so honestly, she could have stayed longer, but she liked to be close in case of emergency. Anyway, she bounded down the hall and plopped onto the sofa beside me, wrapping her arms around my waist and laying her head on my shoulder.

"How is my sweet little sister doing today?" She singsonged to me.

"Little? I'm at least two inches taller than you sweetie."

"I know, but you are an hour younger than me Cori-Ann. What's wrong?"

I looked at her seriously. "Why would anything be wrong?"

"I can feel when you're not okay. Spill your guts bitch."

I sighed and dropped my head into my hands. "I saw Patrick today."

Her arms fell away from me and her already pale face had gotten even paler. She finally gathered her wits about her and put her hands over mine. "Did I hear that correctly?" I nodded. "Well, did he recognize you?"

I stood up and began pacing the room. "Yes, but it gets worse than that."

She looked confused. "How could it be worse than that? Was he angry? Did he cause a scene? Did he yell at you?"

"No, no, nothing like that." I waved my hand in dismissal. "In fact, I think he was happy to see me. He may even still have feelings for me."

She jumped up and ran across the room, just stopping short of running directly into me. "Shut the fuck up! What did he say?"

I crossed the room again and sat back down. "Seriously. He and Elisa are getting a divorce and I expressed my condolences to him saying that it was a sad thing to hear because they were so perfect together. Then he told me that he missed me." She sat on the floor with her hands hiding her mouth, but she couldn't hide the smile that reached her rich, brown eyes. I pointed my finger at her and shook my head. "Don't you get any ideas missy. It's never going to happen again."

Her body vibrated as she started to giggle. "He still loves you though! Give it a shot."

"No! I threw his life into a tailspin enough when we were younger."

She stood up, her features screamed angry now. "What tailspin?! He has stood by you through thick and thin! He loves you. There's no denying that."

I peered at her through the slits that my eyes had become. "Yeah, and look where it got him. He got the shit kicked out of him! His bandmates had to help us deal with that backlash. Not to mention the fact that he got completely ostracized by his other friends in high school because of me!"

"He was also your first love, your first boyfriend, your first lover, and a constant place of comfort and peace for you when you needed it the most. Face it babe, he's your other half. Your soulmate and nothing you say is going to change that." She turned quickly and left the living room, slamming her bedroom door behind her.

Dammit! She was right. Patrick had always been there for me, even when no one else had been. God dammit I hated when Carol-Ann was right. I was going to have to break down and talk to Patrick, and it wasn't going to be an easy thing.

I slowly made my way into my room thinking about my chance encounter with my ex and all the things I felt seeing him again. Of course, I had been with other men since I had been gone, but none of them had lived up to Patrick. He had been the one that made me the happiest. I hadn't expected to have this huge resurgence of feelings. I was truly hoping that I was over him, but one look into his blue-green eyes and I had fallen for him all over again. I would have to talk to him again, but I had to wait. I can't give him the wrong impression...

  
**Patrick POV**

 

 

I had just gotten back to my new apartment, and all I could think about was Charly and how much I had missed her. She looked fantastic, and God did she smell good. It was her signature scent of coconut and almond. I always had loved the smell of her. She hadn't changed much at all. Her hair was shorter, and she looked more comfortable in her own skin. That made me happy. She had always had such a tough time with her dysphoria.

I sat down at my kitchen counter and pulled the long-faded letter from my wallet. I had read it many times over the years, so I knew it by heart, but in some strange way, reading the words as she had written them had always made me feel closer to her. She had left the note along with her engagement ring on her bedside table almost ten years ago.

I had woke up to a cold and empty bed. At first, I was pissed, but it quickly had turned to sadness. I still couldn't understand why she had thought I would have been happier without her. Don't get me wrong, I love my son dearly, but we could have adopted as many kids as she had wanted. Elisa had been a replacement for what I had shared with Charly. I had never gotten over her and Elisa knew that. Honestly, it's one of the reasons for our divorce. We thought we could make it work, but really we were only going through the motions. I mean, Elisa understood, and we were being extremely civil: shared custody of Declan, no major issues, and alimony wasn't on the table, so there's been that.

I had given up hope of ever seeing Charly again, so today had been a shock. Her sister and father had both told me to let her go and move on with my life, so after three years without her, I had finally taken their advice and tried to move on. That's when Elisa had come into the picture, and for a moment, I thought I could be happy. It wasn't long after we had gotten married and Elisa was pregnant that my mind began to think back to Charly and what we could've had. Sure, biological children were out of the picture for us, but we still could have made a life together.

Why would she think that I would be so shallow? Did I even mean anything to her? That's crazy talk, of course, I meant something to her, or she wouldn't have spent all those years with me. If I had meant nothing to her, she would have just ignored me when I recognized her on the street today. She wouldn't have stopped and spoken to me. I wouldn't have felt the shift in the atmosphere around us like I did. I wouldn't have felt her body naturally respond to mine when I hugged her. She wouldn't have sounded so nervous. There's still something there, I can feel it. I have to talk to her again. Maybe her sister would know where she is. I know Carol-Ann most likely won't tell me, but maybe she'd talk to Pete. She's always carried a torch for him.

I picked up my phone and dialed the all too familiar number of my best friend and waited. He answered within two rings. "Hey, Rick. What's up?"

"I saw Charly today." I deadpanned. Better to just rip the band-aid off immediately.

"Say no more. I'll be there in five."

"Thanks, man."

True to his word, Pete made it to my place in five minutes. He came rushing inside with Saint on his hip and Bronx following behind, his Nintendo DS in hand. "So what happened? Did she have anything to say about why she left?"

"I mean, kind of, but we more or less just exchanged pleasantries. Fuck she looks great. Her hair's a bit shorter, but she's still the same beautiful girl I fell in love with all those years ago."

"Where's she been? Wait. Are you still in love with her?" Pete's face held a mischevious grin.

"She's been in New York according to her, and yes, I am still very much in love with her. I've never gotten over her. I thought you of all people would have noticed that." I rolled my eyes. Pete really could be oblivious if he really wanted to.

"Honestly, I've been in my own little world what with Meagan and I breaking up. You and Elisa always seemed so happy. I guess that's why your divorce was so shocking."

"We were happy. That's the funny thing." I stood up and paced for a moment before I sat back down and ran my fingers through my hair. "Part of the reason for our divorce is the fact that I'm not over Charly."

"Part? What's the other part?"

"I'm not at liberty to disclose that Pete."

His eyebrows cocked at me. "Why not?"

My eyes narrowed at him. "Because you don't have to know every single detail of my divorce you ass."

His hands shot up in defense. "Woah. Calm down, man. I'm just curious. You don't ever keep secrets from me."

I smirked at him. "I have before."

"That doesn't count. Charly never had to say anything about it because it wasn't anyone's business but hers."

"This is the same type of thing. It's Elisa's business and I'm not going to say anything."

"Fair enough. So why did you call me?"

"I need a favor."

"Am I gonna have to turn on the Wentz charm?" He smiled widely as if he was already laying it on thick. I nodded and he chuckled. "Who do I need to charm my friend?"

"Charly's sister Carol-Ann. I have to talk to Charly again, and I doubt that anyone will give up that info to me."

"Say no more amigo. Wentz is on the job."

I rolled my eyes at him again but hugged him as he left. I knew that he would do what he could to find out about Charly for me. I was a man on a mission, and one way or another, I was going to reconnect with the love of my life.


	2. ONE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note, anything in italics is a memory and/or a flashback to the history between Charly and Patrick.

**Charly/Cori POV**

It was three days later when I realized that I was going to have to have a sit down chat with Patrick. The little shit had sent Pete to butter up my sister and find out where I was. Luckily for me, Pete had always been attracted to Carol-Ann, even if he had been oblivious to her advances 10 years ago. Currently, the two were smitten with one another again, and therefore, they were a bit distracted. I was able to get Patrick's number from Pete easily enough though.

I sat in my office staring at the slip of paper that held the number of my ex. What if I messed his life up? No! He must still have feelings for me or he wouldn't have sent his bloodhound after details on me. Besides, I'm an accomplished woman. I deserve to be just as happy as anyone else does. I just hope he's not still angry about how I left. I never intended to hurt him, but I knew that if I hadn't left when I did, he would have talked me out of it. I needed him to be happy and safe. I needed him to experience the joy of biological children. I had needed to get my head on straight and to get myself where I needed to be. It had paid off for me of course. I finished school and got my degree, and now I'm a successful therapist for transgender youth. I'm actually happy that I went for my dreams and now, I was going to go after the man that should have been a part of it too.

I picked up my office phone with a shaky hand. I had no clue what I was going to say, but I dialed the number anyway. I didn't have too much time to think about it though, Patrick answered on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Patrick. It's Cor- I mean Charly."

"Charly. Uh, wow. I didn't expect to hear from you." He sounded so cute when he was a bit confused.

"I'm surprised. You did send the Calvary after me."

He chuckled and I smiled at the warmth in his voice. He always has had such a gorgeous laugh. "So, do you want to meet up sometime today?"

"Sounds good to me. How about we meet at the old favorite of ours around three? It's a short day at the office for me."

I heard his smile through the phone. "That sounds great. See you at three."

"See you then Patrick." I hung up the phone and felt the pressure of the last three days lift from my chest. I was still nervous as hell, but not nearly as scared as I was. He and I would talk, and if he didn't want anything more to do with me, then I would move on with my life. I had had one of the guys in an office across from mine flirt with me quite regularly. It was an awkward flirt, but he flirted nonetheless. I had options, but Patrick was who I truly wanted to be with.

The day wore on and all I could think about was a pair of blue-green eyes and a smile that could stop traffic and make even the coldest icy heart melt. Thankfully it was a low-patient day, and really all I was doing was paperwork. I came out of my daze and realized that it was almost 2:45 already. I needed to leave in the next few minutes to be able to make it in time to meet Patrick.

Breezing around my office, I was in my own little world, so I didn't even hear my door open. I looked up to see one of my newer patients, Erica, come in. She was a lovely young woman, just starting to transition, and I had a soft spot for her. Her coming out to her parents had been eerily similar to mine, and I couldn't help but feel a bit of solidarity with her. Her father had been supportive from the start and consequently been the one to find me for her, while her mother had been against everything.

I smiled warmly at her and motioned for her to have a seat. "What can I do for you, Erica?"

"I'm sorry to barge in like this Dr. Jennings, but I didn't know what else to do."

"Well, I was about to leave for the day." I saw her face fall and I knew I needed to help her now. "But, I can stay for a little while longer for you. Now, What's going on?"

She took a deep breath and began her story. "My mother is raising hell again because I'm going to go through with my transition. I get to start on my hormones in about three months or so. I'm happy and excited, as is my father, but my mother is so angry right now. She called me a freak and a pervert last night. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I started hormones. She's made plans for me to go to a 'camp for wayward teens' as she calls it. I know it's nothing more than a conversion camp in disguise. I have no idea what is going to happen to me."

I reached out and placed my hand on her shoulder. "Erica, you have to calm yourself. You know that your father would never let anything bad happen to you."

She sighed heavily. "I know, but I don't want to ruin their relationship. They've always been so in love, and it just kills me to see them fight like they have been lately."

"Let me ask you this, would you be happier if you tried to appease your mother and go to this camp?"

"What? Of course not!"

"So what makes you think that your father would try to appease her?"

"I think that he wants to see his children happy."

"And I think that you are correct."

We spoke for a little while longer, all the while her body language calmed down more and more. She talked about her mother, and how much she wished that she could see past the physical aspect of her, and start looking on the inside. I could relate to that. My mother had been the same way about my transition many years ago.

When Erica finally felt comfortable enough to go home, I looked at the clock and saw that it was 3:30. I hadn't called Patrick to let him know what had happened, so I typed in his number quickly as I left my office. I hoped that he didn't think I had stood him up. I called him twice as I headed to the coffee shop and he didn't answer. Maybe his phone wasn't turned up. I pulled into a space near the door and hopped out of my car and scurried to the door. I pulled it open and almost ran into Patrick.

"Oh! It's you! I'm so sorry I'm late I-"

"Save it Charly. I get it, you don't really want to see me. I'm sorry I bothered to speak to you the other day." He turned to leave, but I grabbed his arm.

"No! You're gonna let me finish my sentence."

"Why should I? You never gave me a chance to even talk to you for almost 10 years! You left me in the middle of the night! I didn't even have time to properly grieve for what I had lost because you left the day before we started touring. You threw away our relationship for something that we could have actually talked through and found a solution for. I can't handle another heartbreak from you Charly, and if that means being alone for the rest of my life, then so be it."

I stood there stunned, his words cut me deep. Tears clouded my vision and my face crumpled as I felt my heart break. My voice cracked a bit. "Okay. I-I guess I'll leave you alone then. I'm sorry I fucked up your life." I turned and got into my car and drove away, tears streaming down my cheeks. I had maybe made it a block when I heard a horn blaring and I felt something slam into my car and I blacked out.

I woke up later lying in a hospital bed with an IV drip and the worst headache imaginable. I was alone, but it wasn't long before a nurse made her way into my room to check on me. It took me a minute to realize that I couldn't see her very well. It was as if I was wearing a pair of glasses that weren't my prescription. Every thing was fuzzy and focused.

"You're finally awake. You gave everyone quite a shock Miss Jennings. Do you know how you got here?"

"I uh I think I was in a car accident. How long have I been unconscious?"

"Three days. Don't worry too much about your vision right now. You've taken some slight damage to your Occipital lobe, but the neurologist believes that it will even itself out for the most part. You need to move carefully as you've also sustained a few fractures in your ribcage and your vertebrae. You'll be able to go home within the week though."

I carefully nodded and turned my face to her. My voice was still strained and raspy. "Has anyone notified my father and sister?"

"Yes, ma'am. The gentleman that refused to leave your side called them both. He wouldn't even let the ambulance leave without him."

"What did he look like?"

"A sweet and adorable little thing. He was wearing a hat and glasses. Very attractive. Is he your boyfriend?"

I sucked in a deep breath. "He was. A long time ago, but I made a huge mistake almost 10 years ago and now, he doesn't want anything to do with me. I hurt him so bad, but I did it for the right reasons. I only wanted him to have the things he couldn't have with me."

"Like kids?" She had a soft smile, and I knew that she had seen my chart. Either that or Patrick had had to tell the paramedics about me. "You know, sometimes it takes a major event in our lives for us to realize what we really have. Give him a chance to talk to you before you make a decision on what you're going to do."

Tears had welled up in my eyes, making my vision even more blurry than before. I nodded at her again as she gently pat my shoulder and left. The thing about silence is that it gives you plenty of time to think. My mind drifted off to when I first came out as trans. It had been Patrick, and his reaction and subsequent understanding had been everything for me. You see, we were born hours apart in the same hospital, and even in side-by-side delivery rooms. Our families were next door neighbors, and as such, he and I grew up as the best of friends. We were inseparable for our entire lives.

_The day that I came out to him sticks out in my mind more than any other day because of the relief and elation that I had felt. It was summer and we were 14 years old, riding our bikes to the lake. It was hot that year. We're talking stupid hot, and we were desperate for some relief. Patrick had drug me out of the house even though I had been avoiding him. I had been struggling with my body dysphoria, so I had become more and more withdrawn from everyone._

_He had finally gotten me out of the house and we were on our way out of town. We had been quiet for most of the ride out there, until about halfway when he asked me a question that opened up this entire can of worms._

_"Hey, Charly?"_

_"Yeah, Rick?"_

_"Do you ever feel like you're not the same as everyone else? Like maybe your brain is wired differently than everyone else's?"_

_I stopped my bike and stared at him for a long time before I could answer. "Uh. Sometimes. How do you mean?"_

_He walked his bike over to a tree and sat down, a look of intense thought covered his face. "Like maybe you have feelings that other people have, but like they're not what people consider normal."_

_I let a long breath out as I sat down beside him. "I always feel like that. I doubt that anyone would even listen to me about it though."_

_"I'll listen to you Charly. I'm your best friend. I won't ever judge you. You know that."_

_"Believe me Rick, this time you would."_

_He grabbed my hand and held it tight. "Try me."_

_I took a deep breath and stood up, pacing in front of him. I picked at my nails for a minute before I could even start. "Rick, we've known each other a long time, so this is gonna be hard to even say to you, but...."_

_"But?"_

_"I-uh. I'm not a boy. I mean, I was physically born a boy, but I'm not one. There was a mistake. I'm not supposed to be in a boy's body. I hate it, and I really hate what puberty is doing to it. Every time something happens and I get an erection I get sick to my stomach because I know, I just know that I'm not supposed to have a penis. My body is wrong and there's nothing I can do about it!"_

_I had begun to shake when Patrick stood up and wrapped his arms around me. He stroked my hair to try and calm me down. "Shhhhh. Charly, it's gonna be okay. I'm here for you. No matter if you got the wrong body. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. So you're a girl and not a boy. I'll help you do whatever you need to do." He pulled away from me and wrapped tears away from my face that I didn't even realize that I had shed. "You need to talk to someone though. You can be put on hormones or something right?"_

_I nodded. "I've done a little bit of research, but I haven't said anything to anyone other than you. I don't think my family will be as accepting as you are Rick."_

_"Hey, don't think like that. Your sister is awesome and your dad is cool as hell."_

_"My mother will think I'm a freak."_

_"You are not a freak. You just got the wrong body by accident. I'm always going to be here for you. Tell you what; let's forget the lake today, and we'll go to the library instead. I'll help you do more research. I want to help you Charly."_

_I grinned and threw my arms around his neck. "Thanks, Rick! You're the best friend I've ever had!"_

_The rest of our summer was spent looking into everything we could find about gender identity. He had become even more of a rock for me to lean on than I could have ever imagined. He was even by my side when I told my family. As expected, my mother lost her mind and told my father that she would leave if he allowed me to be a freak. He stood by my side though, and true to her word, she left and filed for a divorce the week that I began my hormones. My sister was excited because it meant she would get to help me present as a girl. She was an invaluable help that first year into my transition. She helped me walk properly, apply my makeup, speak more feminine. Hell, she even helped me with my mannerisms._

_Since I had told my father so early into puberty, I didn't have to go through any heavy facial feminization surgery. We were able to get me on blockers and hormones early enough that most of my male features never fully developed. I was really very lucky. Not everyone is as lucky as I was. My father was wonderful through the entire process. He was, well, is one of the most respected surgeons in Chicago, so he had the connections to help me get the best in medical care. He helped me get a good therapist and surgeons that would be invaluable to me._

I was pulled from my memories by the sound of someone clearing their throat. I looked up, but due to my eyesight, I could only make out the fuzzy shape of a man. The moment I heard his voice though, there was no doubt who it was. "Hey, Charly. I mean Cori. The uh-nurse said that you were awake. Your dad and sister are in the waiting room. They sent me in first. Uh, how are you feeling?"

I motioned for him to come sit in the chair beside my bed. "I'm okay I think. My brain took a pounding from what the nurse told me. My vision is super blurry and I have a few fractured ribs and vertebrae, but she said that I should be okay. The neurologist thinks that everything will sort itself out in my head."

"Listen Char-Cori, I'm sorry about what I said in front of the coffee shop. I just thought that you had stood me up and I had decided to end it before I got hurt again."

"So you did ride in the ambulance with me."

"Yeah. I saw the accident and all I could think is that the love of my life had just died in front of me, and I had just done the one thing that I swore I wouldn't do. I turned my back on you. I'm so sorry."

"No, Patrick, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left like I did all those years ago. You had always been by my side, especially during one of the most trying times of my life and I threw that away in a moment of insecurity. Can you ever forgive me?"

He took my hands in his and gently ran his thumb across the soft skin. "I will on one condition. Tell me that you'll go on at least one proper date with me after you get out of the hospital."

I smiled widely. "I believe I can do that Mr. Stump."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is reading this story. I'm so grateful to have such great readers out there. Enjoy this new chapter everyone!


	3. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always anything that is in italics is a flashback/memory. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Patrick POV**

I sat with Char-Cori for another hour before I had to let her sister come in and see her. I didn't want to leave her side, but the doctor had insisted that she only have one visitor at a time. I finally acquiesced and left the room, promising her that I would be back later. I meandered the halls a bit, stalling before I had to go back to the waiting room. I thought about the first time I had told her that I loved her. It was a few months into our Freshman year of high school. She had come out to me a little earlier during the summer. I had wanted to tell her before she came out, but she had started to push everyone away in the last few years, so I had been afraid to tell her.

 

_I still remember the conversation that I had had with my mother when I realized that I loved Charly as more than a friend. I had come home from trying to drag my best friend around the neighborhood. I had been trying desperately to get him to open up to me about what was bothering him, but I was having no luck. I rushed into the house and my mom was in the kitchen baking oatmeal cookies, and boy, did they smell good. I strolled into the kitchen and my mother smiled at me._

_"How was your day with Charly? Did you ever get him out of the house?"_

_I sat down on the floor away from her with a warm cookie in my hand and shook my head. "Not really. Something is bothering him and he won't tell me, mom. I'm his best friend, shouldn't he be able to tell me anything?" I took a bite and scowled._

_"Honey, he just might be going through something that he's afraid to tell you. Just reassure him that you'll be there for him no matter what. He'll open up eventually."_

_This was my chance, "Speaking of being afraid to tell someone something. I wanted to talk to you."_

_She turned away from the counter and looked down to me. "What's on your mind sweetheart?"_

_"I...well...I think I love Charly. Like love love. Like in love. Like you and dad love." My palms had started to sweat._

_She smiled at me and motioned for me to come stand beside her. "So, you think you may be gay?"_

_I nodded. "I'm not sure what to do mom. Charly has been my best friend since we were in diapers. What if he thinks I'm a freak? Am I a freak?"_

_She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close. She smelled of spices and her perfume and the scent comforted me. "No honey. You're not a freak. There's nothing wrong with falling in love. Love is a beautiful thing."_

_"But he's a boy! I'm a boy! Won't people think bad stuff?"_

_"The people that would think or say anything bad aren't worth your time Patrick. You, are a bright, handsome, and wonderful young man. Anyone would be lucky to be loved by you. Give Charly some time, then, when it feels right, tell him. You won't know how he feels unless you talk to him. If he's not interested, but still wants to be your friend, then everything is not lost. He'll understand. He's your best friend."_

_I nodded my head and went upstairs to my bedroom. Maybe mom was right. Charly seemed like an open minded person. Surely he wouldn't outright hate me._

_I spent the next few weeks making Charly get out of the house as much as possible. The day that she came out to me was originally the day I had planned on telling her how I felt, but she needed my support so I had kept quiet. I helped her research that summer, and two months into our Freshman year, I finally convinced her to tell her parents. She had run out of the house when her mother had her outburst calling Charly a freak. I, of course, had found her on my front porch crying. I rushed to her side and wrapped my arms around her shoulders and let her cry. We both knew her mother wouldn't approve, but I hadn't thought that she would be as cruel as she had been. I stood her up and led her into my house. Once I got her into my room and laid her down on my bed, I went downstairs and told my mom that Charly was spending the night and asked her to call Dr. Jennings and let him know._

_I ran back up the stairs and found Charly sitting on my bed, stone faced and almost completely detached from reality. I gingerly sat down beside her and wrapped my hands around hers. "Charly? Are you going to be okay?"_

_"She called me a depraved pervert. A sick and twisted excuse for a human being. She basically called her own child shit." Her voice was monotone and her face gave away nothing. She was practically a statue. The only reason I knew she was alive was the vice-like grip she had on my hands._

_I pried a hand free, and pulled her to me, laying her head on my shoulder. "Don't you listen to her Charly. You're a strong, beautiful, and intelligent girl. She's the one that's shit. Anyone who rejects you is stupid. Please don't beat yourself up over this. I love you okay? Don't forget that." I kissed her forehead before I realized that I had just told her that I loved her._

_It took her a minute to register what I had said and she looked up at me. "Did you mean that Patrick?"_

_"Did I mean to tell you that I love you? Yes. I didn't plan on telling you like this, but yes. I've loved you for almost a year now."_

_Shock was spread across her face. She sat there staring at me for a full two minutes before she opened her mouth again. "Do you love me because I'm your best friend, or..."_

_"Charly, I'm in love with you. Like for real. I've wanted to date you for a while now. I want you to be my girlfriend."_

_Her face lit up like the sun and she nodded her head quickly. I smiled and I leaned in slowly, gently pressing my lips to hers. I felt sparks of electricity shoot through me. This was it. This was what real love felt like. I wanted to be with Charly, and nothing in the world could stop us._

I finally made it back to the waiting room and everyone looked up when I entered. I smiled and sat down between Pete and Dr. Jennings. Andy and Joe sat across from us, and beside them was a young woman who we learned was one of Char-Cori's patients. I found out from her that the reason Cori had been late was that she had stopped in for an emergency session. Erica was apparently a big fan of us, so she was full of nervous energy. She soon warmed up to us though and we all sat chatting like we were old friends.

I looked over at Dr. Jennings and he smiled at me. "How have you been Patrick? It's been a long time since I last sat and spoke with you."

"I've been doing good sir. I uh, got married and had a son."

"That's wonderful."

"Yeah. Well, Elisa and I are in the final stages of our divorce actually."

"Oh no! I'm sorry to hear that."

"Oh, don't be sir. It's a mutual thing honestly. We're going to share custody of Declan. We're still great friends. We just had some differences that couldn't be overcome."

"Well, the welfare of your child is always the most important thing. Never forget that."

"Oh, believe me, sir, I know."

We all fell into a comfortable silence, listening to the quiet lull of the waiting room. I guess I fell asleep because the next thing I knew, I was being shaken awake by Carol-Ann.

"Hey, sleepy head. Cori's asking for you."

I looked around the waiting room and noticed that I was alone except for Dr. Jennings and Carol-Ann. I guess the guys and Erica went home. I nodded and stood up. I made my way back to Cori's room. She was sitting up in bed, humming to herself. I couldn't make out the song until she started softly singing the words to herself. I only heard bits and pieces, but I smiled.

"They say the captain goes down with the ship, so when the world ends will God go down with it?"

"Someone likes my voice still." I crossed the room and sat in the chair beside her bed.

She chuckled. "I've always loved to hear you sing Rick. Whether it was Fall Out Boy stuff, show tunes, or even 80's hits."

We fell into a silence, both of us afraid to say what was on our minds. Minutes, feeling like hours ticked by, while neither of us budged in our silence. At long last, Cori spoke up, saving us from the quiet that surrounded us. "Patrick, do you remember the first time you sat in the hospital with me?"

"Of course I do. It was for your first bottom surgery. You had an orchiectomy scheduled and you were terrified. We were 16 and had been dating almost two years by then."

"I was so grateful that you were here for me."

"I had to be there for my girl."

"You know, I've always appreciated how easily you switched from thinking of me as he to thinking of me as she. It has always been the biggest thing that ever stood out about you from my pre-transition days."

"But, you are a girl. You have always been a girl, even when you hadn't come out yet. I didn't know it until you told me, but I honestly didn't care. I loved you before I knew that you were a girl. I never cared what parts you had. It was never a big deal to me to think of you in the way you should have been thought of. I know it was to you, but you've always been my best friend and first love, no matter your gender."

She wiped a stray tear from her cheeks and let out a choked laugh. "Well, I'm glad that it was so easy for you. It was hell for me. Especially when I had to change schools our Junior year because of all the bullying."

I hung my head. "That always bothered me so much. I wanted to change schools with you, but my dad wouldn't let me. He insisted that you would be okay without me and that it would be healthy for us to not spend as much time together. I worried about you every single day. That's why I had my schedule changed up so that I got out of classes an hour early so I could come pick you up every day after school."

She started to pick at her nails. "I kind of figured. I was fine at my new school. No one knew me as Charles, everyone just knew Charly."

"Speaking of Charly." I leaned back in my chair and looked at her in curiosity. "Why did you change your name to Cori-Ann?"

She looked uncomfortable and I immediately regretted asking her. "Charly had too many bad memories associated with it."

I leaned forward again and wrapped my hands around hers. "It had some good ones too if I recall correctly."

She nodded her head and laid back in the bed. Before I knew it, she had fallen asleep. She needed the rest. I thought briefly about leaving for the night, then decided against it. She needed someone to be here when she woke up, and I was going to be that someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is reading this story. I have such high hopes for it. 
> 
> Just to clarify, an orchiectomy is a surgery that some mtf elect to have in order to remove the testicles. It lessens the testosterone production in the body to help prepare for a full transition. Sometimes it will be the only bottom surgery someone will have. The different procedures that go into a transition are really up to the person and what will make them happy. Some are happy only getting the orchiectomy, and others would rather just have the full vaginoplasty done.
> 
> I did a LOT of research for this story, so if anyone sees something that I may have misread or misinterpreted, please let me know. I do not want to offend anyone at all. Thank you again for reading my stories and I hope you will continue the journey with me.


	4. Three

**Charly/Cori POV**

I woke up to the sound of light snoring. I looked towards the noise and saw Patrick, glasses askew and his hat on the floor. He looked adorable. I looked at him for a few more moments before I noticed that my vision had cleared significantly. It still wasn't fully back to normal, but I didn't feel like I would vomit and have a headache from just looking around the room.

I heard the door to my room open and the nurse from the previous day came in quietly. "Good morning Cori. How are you feeling today?"

"Much better actually. My vision is clearing up and my head doesn't hurt as much as it did."

"That's great. I'll be sure to note it on your chart." She fell silent for a moment before she spoke back up. "Did you and he talk things over?" She motioned to Patrick's sleeping form.

I smiled at her. "Yeah. We did a little bit. I'm so afraid of hurting him again. I love him so much."

"What kind of relationship did you have before you two split up?"

"Oh God, it was great. He was the first person I had come out to, the first person that I had a long-term relationship with, my first uh, lover both before and after. We've been through some major life events together and he was by my side for it all."

"Don't you think that he'd be willing to do it all again if it meant being with his love again?" She didn't give me time to answer as she smiled and slipped out the door.

"She's right you know."

I jumped, whipping my head towards where Patrick stood. "How long have you been awake?"

"Since she came in."

"You're an ass." I huffed.

"Because I didn't make it known that I woke up, or because I heard everything that was said?"

"Both." I stuck my tongue out at him. Childish, I know, but he just laughed and stood up to stretch.

"You wanna go down to the cafeteria and get something to eat?"

I pulled my upper body back and placed my hand over my chest in mock surprise. "You mean have breakfast with the Patrick Stump? I'm honored."

"Oh shut up you smart-ass." He helped me out of bed and got a robe over me.

We walked in silence for most of the treck. Our hands brushing against one another, but never fully ready to grasp the other. I hadn't realized how much I missed him these past years. I was quickly falling back under his spell. One thing I couldn't wrap my mind around was his willingness to be by my side again after I had hurt him so badly.

"Cori, just say what you're thinking. It'll help."

"What makes you think that I'm thinking anything? I could be an airhead for all you know now."

"Not likely. Besides, I met Erica yesterday, so I know you're a therapist now."

"Erica was here? What on Earth for?"

"You know your sister, everyone and their dog knew you were in the hospital before 6 pm the day of your accident."

"Oh God. Carol-Ann worries too much. I'm surprised that she even lets anyone else worry about anything."

"You did have one visitor that I'll admit I got a little jealous of."

"Oh yeah? Who would have the phenomenal Patrick Stump jealous?"

"Anyone taller and better looking than me, which is about 80% of the city of Chicago."

"The taller thing I'll give you, but better looking? Not possible. Who was it though? I wanna gloat that I have a guy chasing me."

Patrick visibly looked jealous. "He said he had an office across from yours. He was tall with shortish black hair, very McDreamy looking honestly."

I chuckled at the Grey's Anatomy reference. "His name is Shawn, and he's an accountant."

"He seemed creepy to me."

"You're just jealous."

We made it to the cafeteria and Patrick sat me down at a small table before running off to get us something to eat. I watched him the entire time, smiling like an idiot. He looked adorable trying to take care of me like he used to. He made it back to the table with a tray overflowing with food.

"Dear God Rick! Are you trying to feed me or Pete?"

"Hey, they had a good selection of fresh fruit today. Plus, I got your favorite."

"An ungodly amount of bacon?"

"Bingo!" He smiled as he handed me the plate, filled to the edges with bacon.

I paused only for a moment before grabbing a few pieces and shoved them into my mouth, moaning in delicious ecstasy. "Dear God this is fucking good."

He snorted into his coffee. "Don't tell me you just had an orgasm from bacon. I'll never be able to compete."

I slapped his arm but laughed heartily. "Don't you know it. Now you'll have to work twice as hard to get me off."

It felt good to get back to our old joking selves. We finished eating and made our way back to my room. We were both surprised to see Shawn there.

"Hey, Shawn. What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see how you were doing. Didn't your friend tell you that I came by the other day?" He stressed the word friend.

"Actually I did buddy." Patrick sounded upset.

I stepped between the men and tried to defuse the situation. "You two stop this pissing contest right now! Shawn, Patrick did tell me that you had been here. Stop acting like fucking children! I'm a grown-ass woman and I don't need you both to be acting like assholes!"

Both men relaxed. Shawn was the first to speak up. "I just wanted to check on you before I went to the office."

"Well, I'm fine as you can see. Go to work before you're late."

He smiled at me and bent down, placing a chaste kiss on my cheek. Patrick fumed but said nothing. He really didn't like to see someone else interested in me.

I turned to Patrick. "You better not be getting possessive Mr. Stump."

"I'm not. I just don't trust that guy. He rubs me the wrong way."

"Don't worry so much. Besides, you need to be more worried about where you're gonna take me on our date."

He smiled as he helped me get situated back in my bed. "I already have the whole thing planned. You, missy, just have to recover so you can get out of here."

"Then, you, need to go home, sir. You need some decent sleep and possibly a shower, even though I know damn well that you don't stink."

"I'm not leaving until you do. I haven't left since you got admitted. And before you ask, Pete has brought me clothes."

I pretended to be upset but in reality, I was elated that he didn't want to leave my side. We settled down and turned on the T.V. flipping through the channels until we settled on some reruns of the Golden Girls. It felt good to just sit and be with Patrick again. I made a huge mistake 10 years ago, but I'd be damned if I did it again.

**-Two Days Later-**

I had been visited by the neurologist that morning, and now I was being discharged. True to his word, Patrick never left my side. Shawn didn't visit again, so I didn't have to break up the tension again thankfully. I was glad that I was going home though. I couldn't wait to sleep in my own bed again. I didn't want to see my sister yet though. She had been there every day too, but the main difference is that she was there because Pete was there. She hated hospitals, so it was hard to get her to see me anytime I went into the hospital.

Patrick rushed around my hospital room, making sure that none of our personal belongings were left. "Rick, if you make one more revolution around this room, you're gonna wear a hole in the floor."

"I just want to make sure we have everything."

I rolled my eyes. He could be so neurotic sometimes. "How did you get Carol-Ann to agree to let you take me home?"

"I didn't have to. Your dad did. She was ready to fight me. It's crazy, she's so much more tiny than us, but she scares the shit out of me."

"She scares a lot of people." I chuckled. "But not me."

"That's because she's your sister. You've got blood ties there. I'm the outsider here."

The nurse had come in with a wheelchair. "Hospital policy dear. You've gotta be wheeled out."

I sighed. I hated feeling helpless. Patrick put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. The gesture alone made me relax. He's always been able to calm me down even in the most troubling times.

We silently rode the elevator down to the parking level, me just enjoying Patrick's calming presence. I really do not understand why I left. We could have been happy for almost 20 years now if I hadn't been so stupid. We could have a family now.

"Cori, are you okay?" Patrick's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. He looked concerned as he wiped tears from my face. I nodded and he left it alone, but I could tell he would ask me again later.

The nurse stood behind me waiting for Patrick to get his car. She had become a kind of mother figure to me in the week that I had been here. I cleared my throat. "I have never even asked your name."

"Oh honey, it's okay. Nurses are the unsung heroes of hospitals. I'm used to it. But if it will make you feel better, my name is Agatha. Aggie for short."

"Well, Aggie, I appreciate everything this week. You've been the absolute best nurse I've ever had, and I've had a lot of them."

She chuckled and patted my shoulder as Patrick pulled up in front of us. She waved as we drove off. I had really come to trust her this last week. I hoped that I got to see her again under better circumstances. Patrick and I were silent for the first three minutes of the ride home. Finally, I had to talk to him.

"Hey, Rick?"

"Yeah Cori?"

"Can you not immediately take me home? I wanna spend some more time with you if that's okay."

He took my hand in his, brought it to his mouth and kissed my knuckles gently. "I hadn't planned on taking you home just yet anyway. I have a surprise for you."

I nodded as I laid my head back into the headrest and closed my eyes. I wasn't tired, but the neurologist had recommended that I rest my eyes regularly. I had to make an appointment with my optometrist. My vision hadn't fully cleared, so I was going to need corrective lenses. I had been a little disappointed that I still couldn't see perfectly again, but I knew that it was a small price to pay compared to the possibility of having been blinded completely.

Before I knew it, the car had stopped and Patrick had shut off the engine. I opened my eyes and saw my apartment building. "Rick, I thought we weren't going straight to my place."

He turned to look at me. "We're not. This is my building." Realization dawned on him and we both burst into a fit of laughter. He calmed himself down for a moment before he spoke back up. "I guess this is why Pete thought it was funny when I asked him where you lived."

"Most likely. I take it he didn't tell you that Carol-Ann and I live here."

"Nope. Oh well. It just makes it easier for me to see you. I really want you to be my girlfriend again."

I smiled. "I'd like that Rick."

We exited the car and gathered my things before heading inside. We got in the elevator and I broke out in laughter again as Patrick chose a floor.

"What's so funny now?"

"You live on my floor."

"Fate really has it in for us."

"That it does. So, why are we going to your apartment?"

"You'll see when we get there." He smiled and looked away from me. The little shit wasn't going to budge before we made it to his place. We exited the elevator and made our way to his door, passing by my apartment in the process. I saw a note with my name taped to my door, but I decided to deal with that later.

"I'm home!" Patrick called out to his apartment. I was confused for a second until I saw a tiny tow-headed boy run full speed from another room and into Patrick's waiting arms. I looked up to see a beautiful brunette woman following him. I recognized her as Elisa. She smiled at me and held her hand out to me, "You must be Charly. Patrick has done nothing but talk about you for the last week and a half. I'm Elisa."

"I go by Cori now, but it's lovely to meet you. I uh, am I missing something Patrick?"

He chuckled at my confusion until Elisa slapped his shoulder. She smiled again and spoke up. "You've not been told I take it. Patrick and I are about to finalize our divorce. We're still going to be friends, but I'm not attracted to him."

"I'm still confused here." I put my hand to my forehead.

"Elisa is gay. She and I got married mainly to get her brother off of her back about finding a husband. Basically, it was a front." Patrick explained as he held Declan.

"Oh." I was still obviously confused, but I had decided to not pry.

Elisa sat me down on the sofa. Her voice was soft as she spoke to me so Declan couldn't hear. "Patrick and I tried to make things work for us, but no matter what we tried, neither one of us was truly happy. The only good things to come out of this marriage have been our son and our friendship. I could never replace you in Patrick's heart and he could never replace Meagan in mine."

"Wait, Meagan? As in Pete's ex-girlfriend and Saint's mother Meagan?"

"Yep. She and I had been together for years when we met the guys and when I needed a cover, she began a relationship with Pete. We thought we could be happy without each other, but we were wrong."

"So you and Patrick are divorcing so you and Meagan can have your shot at happiness. I can sympathize. I haven't been truly happy in over nine years. I should have never left Patrick, but if I hadn't, then you two wouldn't have such a beautiful son."

"Everything in life happens for a reason, Cori. Maybe you leaving me was so I could meet Elisa and help her when she needed it the most." Patrick sat next to me with Declan still in his arms. The little boy giggled as Patrick tickled him and he crawled into my lap.

"Tect me, tect me!" He said as he wrapped my arms around his torso. I smiled, knowing that he had already accepted me. Maybe being back in Patrick's life would be easier than I thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here's the next chapter in the story. I hope that you will continue reading and enjoying it as much as I enjoy writing and posting it for all of you. Hugs and cookies everyone!


	5. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does contain a little bit of pre-transition smut. As always everything in italics is a flashback/memory. Enjoy!

**Patrick POV**

It had been a month since Cori had gotten out of the hospital, and we were near inseparable. Declan had taken an immediate liking to her and I couldn't have been happier. The weeks that I had my son, Cori stayed with me at my place, and the weeks that he was with Elisa, I stayed with Cori and Carol-Ann. I drove her to work and home every day because her car had been totaled in the accident, plus she had developed an aversion to driving. It didn't bother me. It was just another way to spend more time with her. I had missed her so much, and I wanted to get us back to the way we had been before.

Of course, we hadn't had sex yet. I was in no rush. I wanted her to be ready. Our relationship had never been about sex. We had so much in common that we never ran out of things to talk about. The only thing I still couldn't understand was why she had really left 10 years ago. I know her story was because we wouldn't be able to have biological children together, but it still didn't add up to me. We had spoken at great lengths about adoption and it had seemed that we had settled the issue. So why did she really leave?

I didn't really have too much time to think about it as it was time to go and pick her up from work. I had Declan this week, so he was happy to jump in the car and go get his 'Cowy'. We drove to her office, but she wasn't waiting outside like she usually was. It made me nervous, what with that Shawn guy in the office across from her. I wasn't jealous, just concerned. He gave me the creeps. Something was off about him and I couldn't put my finger on it.

I got out of the car and unbuckled Declan from his car seat. He took hold of my neck and I happily carried him into the building. He chattered in my ear animatedly the entire walk to Cori's floor. He was excited to see her. It had been a week and he had decided that he was more interested in seeing her than me. It didn't bother me. It was quite cute how he loved her so much already.

I stopped shot once I got to Cori's hall. She was standing outside of her office door with Shawn blocking her exit to the end of the hall. Declan heard her voice and squirmed out of my arm and took off in a dead sprint towards her. "Cowi! Cowi!"

She looked around Shawn and her smile reached her cocoa colored eyes. "Declan! How are you baby boy?" She opened her arms and he buried his face in her chest, wrapping his tiny arms around her neck. "Where is your daddy?"

He giggled as she tickled his sides. I could see Shawn was getting uncomfortable, especially when Declan pointed to me. I smiled and walked over to them, putting my arm around Cori's waist and kissing her cheek gently. I held my hand out and smiled. "How are you doing Shawn?"

He took my hand after a moment. His smile looked pained, but he answered evenly. "I'm fine. How are you?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Not bad. Working and raising my son."

Declan heard me talking about him and turned to Shawn. He smiled hesitantly at the much taller man then buried his face into Cori's shoulder. Shawn looked more and more uncomfortable as the seconds ticked by. Cori finally broke the tension in the air. "So I guess we better get going. I promised Declan here that I would teach him a new song today."

Shawn curtly nodded and we all said our goodbyes and left the building. I didn't say anything to Cori about him the rest of the evening. She already didn't like the way I supposedly treated him, and I didn;t want to fight about it while Declan was there.

The rest of the week passed in a flurry of activity. Cori had several of her patients have crises all at once, while I had to meet up with the guys to record more on our new album. It wasn't until the next week that Cori and I really had a major conversation about Shawn. We were laying in bed together and I was running my fingers through her hair as it lay on my chest. Often times we would just lay together like that and enjoy being in each other's company, but I was about to piss her off.

"Hey, Cori?"

"Yeah, Rick?" She turned her head to face me.

"Has Shawn ever been inappropriate with you?" I held my breath hoping she wouldn't get mad.

She leaned up quickly, placing her upper body weight on her right elbow. "What?" Her tone was not a good sign.

I turned to her and sat up in bed to look her in the eyes. "He still creeps me out, Cori. I don't like the way he looks at you. There's something wrong with him."

"What, because he's attracted to me? Only you can be attracted to me? Is that it?"

"It's nothing like that. You're a beautiful woman Cori. I don't care if someone else looks at you or is attracted to you. I-I just don't like him. I'm telling you, there's something off about the way he looks at you."

"So what's the real issue, Patrick? Do you feel threatened by him? Is it because he's taller than you? Is it because he only sees me as a woman and not the boy from next door?"

"Cori, you're being irrational here." I got out of bed and went into the living room. I needed a second to gather my thoughts before I continued this conversation. Any notion I had of being alone for a minute flew out the window when she came stomping behind me.

"I'm not being irrational Patrick, you're only giving me half answers. Now, why do you not like Shawn?" She put her hands on her hips, waiting for me to answer.

"Cori, he seems like the type of guy that you see on the evening news for having a kidnapped woman in his basement. That's the feeling I get from him. My intuition is telling me that he's bad news."

Her features softened and she looked me in the eyes. "That's all you had to say, Rick. I'm not going to completely ignore him, but I will try to steer clearer of him okay?"

I sighed. "Okay. Just please promise me that you'll watch your back around him."

She put her hand on my shoulder. "I promise. Now, can we return to our regularly scheduled programming?"

I smiled. "You mean kissing and cuddling? I'm always down for that. Lots of lost time to make up for." I scooped her up into my arms and carried her back to the bedroom. Nothing more was said about Shawn the rest of the night.

Two days later, I was alone in my studio space trying to figure out the composition of a side project I was working on, but all I could think about was Cori and how I longed to kiss her and run my fingers through her black hair. It took me a few times of getting distracted by thoughts of her to realize that my problem wasn't love, it was lust. I honestly hadn't had sex in over a year, and the thought of Cori's lightly tanned skin definitely made my pants a bit tighter. I groaned in frustration and left the room, deciding to go and lay down for a bit before I needed to go and get her from work.

I sank into the bed and my mind drifted back to the first time Cori and I had been intimate.....

 

_We were 18 and she had finally been living as a girl fully for two years. She hadn't gotten any surgeries other than her orchiectomy, but more were planned for her. I was beyond happy that she was becoming more and more content with her body. I remember being more excited about going to her prom together. We couldn't go to the prom at my school because they still saw her as a boy, and no boy/boy couples were allowed. Fucking assholes._

_Two weeks after my mother and I had gone and rented my tux, I came home to find a bag on my bed. I was curious because I thought we had gotten everything already. My face turned 10 shades of red when I looked in the bag and found condoms and a bottle of lubricant. I jumped up from my bed and ran into the hallway._

_"Mom!" I yelled down the stairs. "MOM!"_

_She came out of the kitchen looking panic-stricken. "What? Is everything okay?"_

_"Why are there condoms and lubricant in a bag on my bed?!"_

_"Is that what you're yelling about? Goodness, you scared me, Patrick. I thought that you might need those Saturday night. I just want you to be safe honey."_

_"Where would I be able to use them, mom?" I had started running my hand back and forth across the nape of my neck._

_She just smiled. "I was going to wait to tell you, but I'm going out to Green Oaks this weekend to see your aunt Jodi. The house will be all yours."_

_"Oh. OH! Uh. Are you sure about that mom?" I couldn't look her in the eyes. She knew what Charly and I had been planning._

_"Sweetie, I just want you two to be safe and sure. Be gentle. and don't forget the first time is nerve-wracking. As long as you take your time, and don't rush yourselves, everything will be okay."_

_I nodded, too afraid and slightly embarrassed to speak. My mother was giving me a free pass to lose my virginity with minimal embarrassment. I needed to talk to Charly before Saturday though. Even if we had already sort of agreed that it would be the night for it, I still didn't want to rush her..._

_The next two days were a flurry of activity as Glenview High prepared for the prom. I was thankful to get out of there every day and get across town to Charly. She made everything worthwhile. She was so unsure of herself and passability at times that it was rough for her. That was to be expected though. When you had been raised and thought of as a boy your entire life, it was a shock to finally be seen as the girl you really were. At least that's what she told me. It was easy for me to make the mental change though because she was still my Charly._

_When Saturday night finally showed up, I donned my tux and walked next door to pick up my girlfriend. I was nervous. I felt like tonight could make or break us. I knocked on her door and her father answered it. Dr. Jennings was a wonderful man. He supported his daughters in everything that they did. I smiled at him nervously. My palms had started to sweat. He put his hand on my shoulder and gently squeezed it. A comforting gesture to some, but it made me all the more nervous. We made small talk while the girls finished getting ready._

_My throat refused to release my words when Charly made her way into the living room. Her long black hair had been curled softly and it hung around her bare shoulders. She had the barest amount of makeup on, but her blood-red lips stood out to me the most. Clinging to her body was a deep sapphire dress that hit her mid-calf. She had a simple silver chain around her neck with a teardrop sapphire hanging between her breasts. She looked incredibly beautiful and I couldn't take my eyes off of her._

_I awkwardly held out the corsage that I had bought her. "H-here. This is for you. God, you're gorgeous."_

_She chuckled. "Thank you, Rick. You look handsome."_

_The tension was broken by her father insisting on taking pictures. We smiled and posed until he felt that he had taken a sufficient amount of pictures. We bid him goodbye and walked over to my house to repeat the process with my mother. After 30 minutes we had finally been released and were on our way. The prom itself was a blur for me. All I had eyes for was my girlfriend and how ravishing she looked. I finally realized what made her even more beautiful this night was the confidence that she put out. She felt sexy and it showed._

_When the night was over, we got into my car and made our way back home. We sat in the driveway awkwardly before I finally got out of the car and opened her door, helping her out and leading her inside my house. Of course, she had been to my house and in my room before, but we both knew that this time was different._

_We made it to my room and she closed the door behind us. We were both nervous and we knew it. I looked at her. "Charly, we don't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. We don't have to do anything honestly."_

_She grabbed my hands with her own. "Patrick, I want to do this with you."_

_Some of my nervousness melted away and I pulled her to me. I captured her lips with mine and she immediately opened her mouth and ran her tongue across my bottom lip. I let my hands roam up and down her sides while her fingers tangled in my hair and our tongues danced together. I reached behind her and slowly slid the zipper of her dress down allowing the silky fabric to slide off of her body. The hormones that she took had filled her figure out nicely. She apparently felt that I was overdressed because as I was gazing at her semi-naked body, she divested me of my tie, jacket, vest, and shirt. Her hand shook as she reached for the button of my pants. I grabbed them and slowed her motions. I led her to my bed and laid her down. I hovered over her body, holding myself up with my arms. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me to her and once again our mouths met._

_My arousal was evident and she moaned when my hips involuntarily ground against hers. Her hands slid down my chest and began to unbutton my pants again. She was finally successful and she giggled as she helped me slide my pants down my legs and finally off. She gently brushed her fingers across my erection still encased in my boxers and I hissed in pleasure. I put my hands behind her and tried to unclasp her bra, but I couldn't find the hooks. She sat us both up and kept her eyes trained on me as she reached between her breasts and unclasped her bra. I raised my eyebrows and she stuck her tongue out at me._

_We laid back down and I began to place gentle kisses down her neck and across her chest, teasing each nipple with my tongue. Her hands fisted through my hair and I slowly made my way further down her body until I reached the waistband of her panties. I looked up at her, questioning with my eyes whether she wanted me to continue or not. She smiled softly and nodded yes._

_I felt a small amount of trepidation as I slid her panties off of her body. We had spent many hours basically dry humping on my bed, but we had never come this far. I was afraid of scaring her off. Especially since she was still uncomfortable having a penis. I brushed my fingers against her and I looked up at her again to see her head back in the pillows and a smile on her face. I took that as a good sign and I dropped my head to her and slowly grazed my tongue over her and heard a sharp intake of breath. I smiled and gently took her into my mouth. It was an unfamiliar sensation, but not unpleasant. I continued my motions until she pushed me away and flipped me over onto my back. She returned the favor until I had to stop her. I didn't want it to be over before it began._

_She looked at me with a raised eyebrow as I reached into my side table and produced a condom and the bottle of lube. I shrugged my shoulders. "Mom bought it so we would be safe." We both chuckled and the tension left for a moment again. She got on her knees and got closer to me and kissed me again as I tried to smoothly lube up my fingers. Her back arched and I latched onto one of her nipples as I slowly slid a finger inside of her, gingerly stretching her out and then adding another. Soon enough she made it known that I was going too slow. She took the condom off of the bed and unwrapped it, sliding it onto me._

_We had a few false starts before she finally got onto her back and put a pillow under her hips. We locked eyes as I slid into her inch by inch. God, she was tight. I stayed fully buried inside of her until she began moving around, seeking some sort of release. I carefully thrust into her, and before I knew it we were both racing towards our orgasms. I reached down and stroked her as I continued to thrust into her. God, I was close. It didn't take much longer before her body tensed around me and she dug her nails into my back. My name was a whisper on her lips as her body shuddered, and my hand was covered in the evidence of her orgasm. Two more thrusts and my body tensed over hers as I came with a growl._

_I guess I blacked out because the next thing I remembered was laying next to Charly, her head on my chest and my fingers running through her hair._

_"I love you, Patrick. That was perfect."_

_I sighed and kissed the top of her head. "I love you too Charly. I wouldn't trade this first time for anything."_

_We fell asleep in each other's arms, exhausted but blissful._

 

 

My phone rang and I answered without looking at the screen.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Rick. My last client called and canceled their appointment. You want to come and get me?"

"I'd love to. Be there in about 10 minutes."

"Okay. I love you."

I stopped dead in my tracks. We hadn't actually said it out loud in years. "I love you too Cori. I've been waiting for you to say it to me again."

"I didn't want to run you off, Rick."

I grabbed my keys and hurried out of the apartment. "You're not going to run me off Cor. I still worship the ground you walk on." I heard her chuckle. Everything was going to be okay with us again..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this new installment. I appreciate all of the reads and wonderful messages I have been getting from everyone. The encouragement is what keeps me going even when I'm sitting at my laptop bitching because I have another chapter to type up. I love you all and keep your eyes peeled for more updates!


	6. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so so so sorry that I haven't updated these last two weeks! I am a horrible horrible person. Part of the delay was my lack of wanting to do anything, and the other part was my addiction to Yuri!!! On Ice. That show has me obsessed with it. Please accept this chapter as my humble apology for being an unreliable author. Oh, and there is a bit of smutty goodness at the end of the chapter that you do not have to read to understand anything, so once it gets to the smut, you can skip it if you so chose to.

**Charly/Cori POV**

When I got off the phone with Patrick, my heart was in my throat. I had finally said it to him again. I had never stopped loving him, so it had been easy to say, but extremely hard to say all at once. I was on cloud nine when he mirrored my sentiments. I felt like a teenager again, only a lot less awkward. Patrick being my rock through my transition had made my teenage years easier than they could have been.

I stood in front of my office building waiting on Patrick to get there when Shawn showed up. He smiled at me and for the first time, it gave me a chill. "How are you today Cori?" He had an even tone, but his nervous body language was more prominent than ever.

"I'm good. How has your day been?" I shifted my weight back and forth on my feet.

"Good. Good. So, I wanted to ask you if you would like to go on a date with me this Friday night."

My eyes widened. This was going to suck. "Oh, uh, well, you see Shawn, I'm actually seeing someone. I'm so sorry."

His eyes darkened and a flash of anger crossed his features. "Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't know." He turned quickly and walked away briskly. I didn't like the way he was looking at me. Maybe Patrick was right about Shawn.

I didn't have time to think about it much more before Patrick pulled into the parking lot. My face lit up as it always did in his presence and I hopped into the car almost before it had stopped.

"Easy there sport. You don't want to get run over by the car." He leaned over and attempted to kiss my cheek. I turned my head so he planted it right on my lips instead. He pulled away smiling. "That was a welcome I haven't gotten in a long time."

"Well, prepare yourself for it to happen more often," I replied gleefully.

We drove back to our building in silence, our hands clasped together as if we were afraid that the other was a dream and would disintegrate into nothingness if we let go. I sat there trying to decide if I should tell Patrick about the way Shawn reacted when I turned his date offer down. I figured that if he asked, I would tell him, but until then I would keep it to myself. No need in making him worry. He already had so much on his plate now, what with raising his son and all the work that he had always dived head-first into. The man is truly devoted.

Once we settled in my apartment, the day's troubles melted away. Patrick wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I buried my head in his chest. I inhaled his scent and sighed softly, wrapping my arms around his waist. We sat like that for a few moments before I decided to sit up and lay my head on his shoulder.

Things had been slow-moving between the two of us, and I was okay with that. I honestly thought that Patrick was moving slowly due to his recent divorce, and wanting to make sure that I was going to stick around this time. I couldn't blame him of course, but then again, he had always been a perfect gentleman with me. Well, anyone really. He never pushed me into anything that I didn't want, he always waited until I gave him some sign that I was ready to move forward. Maybe that's what he was waiting for now. I knew he hadn't been intimate with anyone in a while. He had confessed that to me when I had needed to use my dilators. The conversation had been a bit awkward as we had never fully discussed everything about my post-op care before. However, he was always so eager to learn new things, so he took the clinical approach as usual. I did have to give him props for wanting to be the best trans ally that he could be. Most people would just learn the basics and then do their best to not offend anyone, but Patrick, well he was an all or nothing kind of guy. If he wasn't giving it his all, he wasn't satisfied.

We sat together in contentment for a few more minutes before I looked him in the eyes. He smiled at me and I melted like a snow cone in August. I leaned toward him and kissed him full on the mouth. He shifted and I took the opportunity to slide one leg over his lap and straddle his hips. I deepened the kiss and his arms wrapped around me as he pulled me flush against his body. I moaned into his mouth as I grabbed fistfuls of his hair. His arousal was evident as he thrust his hips against mine. One of his hands reached under my shirt and found my breast and gently squeezed, sending electric shocks through my body. I ground my hips against him and he let out a small whimper against my neck.

Before I knew it, my shirt was pulled up over my head and Patrick was peppering kisses on the exposed skin of my breasts. Just when I was about to suggest that we move our activity to my bedroom, the front door of the apartment flung open, and in walked Carol-Ann and Pete. I squealed and scrambled to get my shirt back on, but it was too late. We had been spotted.

"Hey, hey, you two! Stop acting like horny teenagers on my sofa!"

I stood up, pulling my blouse on in indignation. "If I recall correctly, I bought this sofa! So I can do whatever I want on it thank you very much!"

Carol-Ann smirked and set her keys in the bowl beside out door as Pete made his way into the kitchen and opened the fridge, burying his head. I rolled my eyes at my sister, while Patrick sat quietly with his hands in his lap, hiding his erection. He looked at me pleadingly, practically begging me with his eyes to get him out of the situation that we were in. I made quick excuses to Carol-Ann and Pete before grabbing Patrick's hand and slipping out the front door and down the hall to his apartment.

The second the door closed, Patrick pushed me against it and kissed me heatedly, quickly resuming what had been interrupted. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him away long enough to ask a question through my breaths. "Do you have any lubricant?"

His face fell. "Shit! No, I do not." His arms dropped to his sides and he looked crestfallen. "I'm so sorry."

I reached forward and cupped his face. "Why are you sorry? So we have to wait a little longer to have sex, So what?"

"Yeah, but I've always been prepared when it comes to us. I haven't had to do the things I used to do. I should have been more prepared."

"Rick, honey, have I made any moves, said anything, or even hinted that I wanted to take things further between us before an hour ago?"

He shook his head. "No."

"Then why are you worried? This was a spur of the moment thing. I'm not upset about it."

He smiled at me. The rest of the night was a little rough of course, but we decided to make sure we were fully prepared the next time.

  
The next day we decided to go on a double date with my sister and Pete. It was something that we all needed, plus, thanks to my run in with Patrick two months ago, I hadn't really seen Carol-Ann too much. Either she was out with Pete, or I was out with Patrick. I missed my sister and was elated when she agreed with my idea. I wound up spending most of the day with her while Patrick and Pete hung out together.

It was nice to be with my sister again. We giggled and talked like we always used to. We had always been close, being twins and all, but our bond had only grown stronger after I had come out and we had begun being sisters instead of just siblings. We were in the midst of getting ready when there was a knock on the door.

Carol-Ann looked panicked. "Shit! I'm not ready yet!"

I put my hand on her shoulder. "Calm your little ass down. I'll get the door. You just finish getting ready."

I shook my head and chuckled to myself as I went to answer the door. They guys were about 15 minutes early. Oh well, maybe they wanted to try and avoid crowds. I opened the door, but there was no one there. I looked down the hall to see if maybe they were pulling a prank, but there was no sign of them. As I went to close the door, I noticed a white envelope on the ground near my feet. My name was written on the front in rich black ink. I picked it up and went back inside, letting Carol-Ann know that the guys still weren't here. I wandered to my room and sat down on my bed, carefully opening the letter. A chill ran down my spine as I read the bold type on the sheet of stark-white paper. Big bold letters that said: I'm always watching you.

I heard the knock on the front door again and I quickly stuffed the letter back into the envelope that it came in and hurriedly shoved that into a drawer in my night stand. No one needed to know about this just yet. Besides, I didn't want to ruin everyone's night with this. We all deserved a night out together.

I smoothed out my dress and went to answer the door. Patrick scooped me up into his arms the second I opened it, and I squealed with delight. His lips captured mine and I let myself melt into his embrace.

"You two wanna stop dry-humping in the doorway? We'll be late for the movie if we don't get going."

Patrick cut his eyes at Pete. "You're an ass, Wentz."

"And you love it Stump." He rolled his eyes and ruffled Patrick's hair. Patrick looked annoyed but he put me down and took my hand as Carol-Ann finally emerged from her room stating that she was ready to go. We all grabbed our coats and headed out the door. Piling into the second row of seats in Pete's SUV, Patrick's arms encircled me as we rode to the theater. Our fingers laced together and he peppered kisses along my neck and the side of my face. I was blushing so much that I was sure my head would pop. What Patrick didn't know though, was that I held a certain surprise for him that would make his night better than he could imagine.

I smiled at him mischievously and leaned closer to him, my voice barely audible. "So I went to the drugstore today."

It took almost a full minute for what I said to click in his brain and his eyes went wide. "Oh you did, huh? I guess that means I don't have to try and seduce you quite so hard then." He wiggled his eyebrows at me and I giggled.

We finally made it to the theater and purchased our tickets and snacks. I was standing near the entry of the movie we were going to see waiting for Patrick to finish up his transaction when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned, expecting Pete or even Carol-Ann, but came face-to-face with Shawn.

"Hey, Cori. Funny running into you here." He looked calm, but there was a strange timbre in his voice that I had never heard before.

I quickly looked to where Patrick had been, only to find him surrounded by four teenage girls signing autographs and taking pictures. I'd have to handle this on my own. "Hey, Shawn. How are you doing?" My voice cracked slightly.

"I'm good. I was supposed to meet some friends here, but they canceled on me. Are you here to see **_Logan_** too?" He gestured towards the entrance.

"Yeah. My sister and her boyfriend chose the movie. She's been super excited to see it for a while now." I tried to make as much conversation as I could, hoping that Patrick, Carol-Ann, or Pete would come and essentially "rescue" me.

"Awesome. Well. I wouldn't want to tear you away from family time. Enjoy the show." He smiled and headed into the theater.

I exhaled a breath I hadn't realized that I was holding, and stood there looking at the theater door, completely lost in thought. I jumped and almost spilled my drink when Patrick came up beside me and put his arm around my waist. "Jesus Rick! You scared the hell out of me."

He chuckled. "You've always been fairly easy to startle. Ready to go inside?"

I nodded and let him lead me into the darkened theater. We searched for a few moments before we found Pete and Carol-Ann. Of course, they had found seats right in the middle of the theater. I chuckled as Pete and Patrick fought over the arm rest between them, momentarily forgetting the creepy note I had received and my run-in with Shawn.

The movie had wound up being better than I expected it to be, so by the end of it, I had forgotten completely about anything other than how I couldn't wait to get home with Patrick. We did still have a dinner date to get through, so my waiting would have to continue for a little while longer.

Since it had been my idea to go out and Carol-Ann had picked the movie, I reasoned that Patrick and I got to pick dinner. We were met with protests from both Pete and Carol-Ann because they had wanted to pick the food. I silenced them quickly though telling them that I was in the mood for pizza and they both cheered from the front seat. Patrick and I rolled our eyes. Those two could live off of pizza and we knew it. We did make dining with them a little difficult though, sharing our drink and feeding one another the entire time. They mock gagged and giggled at us. We were all having fun, so it was a good double date, to be honest.

After we finished dinner and got back to our apartment building, Patrick and I said our goodbyes and made our way to his apartment. The second that the door closed, we were peeling our clothes off. The sexual tension had been heavy for the last several days, so we were itching to finally release the pressure so to speak.

We were naked in a matter of minutes and I pushed Patrick against the door and dropped to my knees in front of him. I heard his breath hitch as I took his thick cock into my mouth and sucked heartily. His fingers threaded through my hair as I reached up and cupped his balls as I continued to suck and lick him. I took him by surprise by gently running my teeth against the underside of his shaft and he roughly grabbed two fistfuls of my hair and bucked into my mouth. I gagged slightly but continued what I was doing. A few more thrusts into my mouth and he came hard. He looked down to me and smiled lazily.

"I do believe that it's your turn miss Jennings." He scooped me up into his arms and carried me into his bedroom. Gently he laid me on the bed and kissed down my body slowly, taking his time, and christening every inch of my skin with his lips and tongue. Every touch felt like electricity and I couldn't get enough of it. I thought I would pass out the moment he slid my legs apart and his tongue made contact with my already aching clit. My back arched and I let my head fall back into the bed. My hips surged forward and I moaned his name in satisfaction.

He looked up at me and smirked. Cocky little shit. I pushed him off of me and got up, trying to be sexy with legs that felt like Jell-O and quickly made my way into the living room and retrieved a small bag from my purse. I came back to the bedroom to see Patrick sitting against the headboard of the bed, stroking himself. I smirked at him and crawled back onto the bed, taking the bottle I had purchased from the bag. I knelt between his legs and swatted his hand away, generously tipping the contents of the bottle into my hand. I wrapped my hand around his re-hardened cock and stroked him once, twice, three times before I leaned forward and kissed him heatedly. I was trying to distract him from me trying to put the excess lubricant on my self, but he quickly figured out what I was doing and chuckled as he helped me.

You don't have to try and be mysterious with me Cori. I still remember sex with you." He was whispering in my ear as one of his hands massaged my breast, while his other fingers gently entered me, taking the needed lube with them.

He had always made sure that sex between us wasn't awkward and I appreciated it. I looked deep into his eyes and gently kissed him as I lowered myself onto his cock. I didn't move for a few moments, letting myself get lost in the feeling of him being inside of me again. It felt like it always had, simply perfect and right. I began a leisurely pace, enjoying us being intimate again. His hands roamed across my back, caressing the skin. His lips peppered kisses all along my collarbone before teasing my nipples with his teeth. I threw my head back and let out a long moan as his tongue took languid strokes across each nipple before nipping at the skin around them.

My movements had sped up unconsciously, so I slowed myself, teasing him over and over again. He finally took control and flipped us over, and quickly sheathed himself inside of me again. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he began a rhythm with his thrusts. Did you know that musicians were the best at setting a pace for sex? It's like they find a beat and stick to it. His hips kept their pace as he continued to nip and suck my neck and collar bone. I was so wrapped up in the feeling of everything that when he reached between us and began circling my clit, I cried out in a mixture of shock and sheer pleasure. He had always instinctively known how to fully pleasure me, and apparently, some things just never changed. I felt my orgasm building and before I knew it, he had increased his thrusting speed. We were both breathing heavily and sweaty, but we soldiered on and soon our efforts paid off. His thrusting became erratic and he came growling my name. I wasn't far behind as he continued to flick and tease my clit, keeping the same even pace. It wasn't long before my back arched and my legs tightened around his waist as my orgasm hit me full force, sending chills up my body.

Patrick collapsed semi on top of me and laid his head on my chest. I ran my fingers through his sweat-soaked hair as his guitar-calloused fingers gently traced shapes on my stomach. "That.....Was amazing Rick."

He hummed his agreement. "Even better than it used to be."

We continued to lay in our post-orgasmic bliss, completely unaware of what was heading our way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate everyone for their reads on this. Thank you all for reading my content, and look for the next part to be up on either Saturday or Sunday. I will try my hardest to keep this updated to the end.


	7. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a trigger warning for violence and rape.

**Charly/Cori POV**

Two weeks went by and I spent more and more time with Patrick. Honestly, we spent a lot of our time in the bedroom. He had been working with the guys a lot more lately, so I did have plenty of time to myself. I didn't want the time alone though. In that two weeks, I had received four more notes and three flower deliveries, two to my office and one to my apartment while my sister had been at work. I was starting to get worried. I had a feeling that it might be Shawn, but I couldn't go making accusations without any evidence.

All of the shit that had been happening lately had brought up some painful memories. More specifically, one of the main reasons I had left Patrick all those years ago. It was hard to think about, but I had finally decided to tell him the entire reasoning when he got home.

By the time he did make it home, I was pacing. I looked up when the door opened and saw Patrick come inside followed by Andy, Joe, and Pete. Andy and Joe ran to me and pulled me into a big hug. I hadn't seen either of them since FOB had taken their hiatus. I had had the pleasure of attending a Damned Things show and they had surprisingly been happy to see me. Anyways, I guess if I was going to go into heavy detail about the past, it would be fitting to have them all there.

Patrick took me into his arms and just held me. It helped with my nerves a little bit, but I still needed to get everything off my chest. I gently pushed him away and crossed the room, taking a seat on the sofa. I took a breath and looked at the four men. "Did Patrick ever tell you guys about why we got the shit kicked out of us 12 years ago?"

Patrick looked uncomfortable, while the other guys shook their heads. Patrick sat next to me and put my hands in his as I began the story.

  
_I had gotten my final bottom surgery the summer after Patrick and I had turned 20. It was a relatively easy process, but it was an odd feeling finally having a vagina. I still had anxiety issues of course, because surgery doesn't make you magically love yourself, but for me, I felt whole. Patrick was by my side through everything just like he promised he would be. I had been going with him and the guys on their tours, so it came as a shock to me to find out that they didn't know about me. It also made me feel good that they only knew me as Patrick's girlfriend Charly. Anyways, I had been finished with my surgeries for almost a year, when Patrick and I were walking home one night. We had gone out for a late dinner and decided that since it was such a nice night out, we would walk home instead of taking a cab. Oh, how I wish we had taken a cab instead that night._

_Everything was going great until we walked by what we thought was a deserted alley and heard two of our former classmates yell at us._

_"Hey look, Troy, it's Fagtrick and his little freak boyfriend Charles."_

_Patrick fumed while I tried to ignore them. It didn't deter them. They grabbed us by our shoulders and spun us around. Mark, the one who had initially said something looked at us with disgust written across his features. "I was talking to you two homos."_

_Patrick shook Troy's hands off of him as I shrugged out of Mark's grip. "First off Mark, you were obviously talking to Troy. Second, we are not fags, homos, or any other slur you can think of. Third, Charly is a girl, not a boy, so her name isn't Charles. And finally, grow the fuck up. We're not in high school anymore. Leave us alone. We're trying to walk home."_

_Mark got in Patrick's face and pushed him against a wall. "Listen here you little faggot. I know who the fuck you are, and I know that Charles here is a boy. You think just because he started taking pills and got his dick chopped off that he's a girl? You're full of shit on top of being fucking disgusting!"_

_"Leave us alone you assholes! Patrick and I haven't ever done anything to you. We're just trying to live our lives. Now, let us go." My voice shook, but my words were firm and I held my ground._

_Troy and Mark smirked at each other and before we knew what had happened, they both had started to drag us into the darkened alley. We tried to get out of their grip, but neither Patrick nor I were athletic, so it was easy for them to overpower us. The next thing I knew, was that Troy was holding me by my neck as he punched me repeatedly in the stomach. I heard Mark giving Patrick the same treatment and I struggled against Troy to try and get to Patrick. He elbowed me in the nose, sending a steady stream of blood down my face. I heard Patrick trying to get to me, but he couldn't get away from Mark. Troy closed in on me again and I did the first thing I could think of and brought my knee up as hard and fast as I could, right into his crotch, sending him to the ground. I stepped over him and made my way towards where Mark had Patrick on the ground kicking him over and over again. I tried to drag him away from my boyfriend, but he turned quickly and backhanded me across the eye. He hit me so hard that I actually saw stars in my vision. It knocked me off balance and gave Troy enough time to catch his breath and grab me again. He slammed me against the wall again, my head making a loud thump sound against the brick of the building. With blurred vision I saw him take a knife from his pocket, open it and press it against my throat. Mark held Patrick up by his hair, forcing him to look at where Troy had me against a wall. It was like he wanted to have a witness of what was about to happen next._

_I was still held firmly against the wall by Troy, but now he had his hand around my throat and was using the knife to meticulously cut away my T-shirt and shorts. I plead with him to stop and let us go but both of them just laughed darkly. Troy cut the front of my bra open and sneered. "Looks like the freak grew a nice pair of tits." Mark looked disgusted and spit towards me as Troy finished cutting away my clothes._

_I hoped that they wouldn't do anything else. They had already beaten and humiliated us, so what else could they possibly do? I wish I had never thought that phrase. I heard a zipper being slid down and before I could process what was happening, Troy had roughly thrust into me. I tried to cry out but he had such a firm grip on my throat that the only thing that would leave my mouth was small, strained, cries only a ghost of an octave above a whisper. Mark had placed his hand over Patrick's mouth, but that had been his mistake. I heard him screech in pain. I guess Patrick had bitten him._

_My breathing had only been coming in short gasps, and that caused me to begin to get dizzy. I heard a scuffle and passed out._

_When I came to, I was in the hospital ER with Patrick on one side of me and my father on the other. Patrick had made the nurses page my dad. Both of them noticed I was awake and grabbed my hands._

_"Do you remember what happened Charly?" Patrick asked._

_Before I could respond, my dad cut in. "Are you okay honey? Patrick told me who it was. The police should be here soon. Do you need anything?"_

_I put my hand on his shoulder, "Dad, calm down. Breathe between questions." I turned to my boyfriend, "And to answer your question, yes, I do remember what happened, although, I highly doubt the police will do anything. If they do, it'll be a miracle."_

_Patrick looked confused for a moment before his face lit up in realization. "Troy's dad is in the Chicago PD."_

_"Bingo. It's our word against his, and with that family, they'll always side with family. Even if we were victims of a hate crime."_

_My dad looked livid. He politely excused himself and walked out of the ER grabbing his phone as he went. Patrick stood up and put his hand on my shoulder. I instinctively flinched away from his touch. He looked pained and we both knew that it would be a long time before either of us would be actually okay. I was still in a state of shock, so I hadn't fully processed that we had both been beaten and that I had been raped._

_Patrick cleared his throat and looked at me sadly. His eye was almost swollen shut and his jaw was bruised and slightly puffy from the beating that Mark had given him. "I'm so sorry about all of this Charly. If I hadn't antagonized them, nothing would have happened."_

_"We both know that's not true Patrick. We're honestly lucky that they didn't kill us. I still don't know how we got away from them though. I think I passed out before then."_

_"Well, when Troy, uh....you know, Mark put his hand over my mouth to keep me quiet, but I opened up just enough that his fingers slid in and I bit down hard. When he screamed and let me go to check his hand, I was able to catch him off-guard and knock him out with part of a wooden crate that I found. Someone passed by the alley while I tried to get Troy off of you and helped us. You and I were too hurt to stay and answer any questions, so the police said that they would be up here in a bit. Also, uh, I wouldn't let them do any tests on you until you woke up, so the nurse and doctor will probably be in here shortly to examine you more fully."_

_"Will you stay with me?" I looked at him pleadingly. All he could do was nod and hold my hand. I didn't shy away from that touch, but it would be many months before I could handle intimacy with him again._

I took a deep breath after finishing that portion of the story as Andy, Joe, and Pete stayed silent. Patrick had sat stony-faced waiting for me to get through the story. I put my hand on his shoulder and he looked at me wide-eyed.

"Are you okay Rick?"

He nodded but didn't say anything. I looked at the other guys and took another deep breath, releasing it slowly to calm myself. "So of course, I checked out and physically, I healed quickly. Mentally, however, was another story entirely. I had night terrors for over a year afterward, and it was almost as long before Patrick and I were able to be intimate again. My father pushed for Troy and Mark to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, and they went to prison for their crimes. I haven't kept up with them since, so I can only assume that they are still behind bars." I looked at the four men uncomfortably. "What I really intended to tell you guys today is why I really left 10 years ago." I stood up and began slowly pacing the room. "After that incident, about a year or so after, I started to get certain letters. Basically, I was getting death threats. I wouldn't have left if they hadn't begun to threaten Patrick too. All I wanted was to keep you safe." I looked at Patrick and he looked like he was going to burst into tears.

"Why didn't you tell me that before Cori?" He sounded hurt, and in reality, I couldn't blame him. I had never given him a real reason as to why I had left until today.

"I thought I was doing the right thing, Rick. You guys had gotten huge, and I didn't want to risk your careers. I couldn't completely derail everything you had worked so hard for. I didn't want to be selfish. So I left part of the truth out when I left you that letter and disappeared."

Everyone was silent for a while before Andy's soft voice rang out in the quiet room. "Well, it's in the past and no one can change it now. I think the best thing to do is work ok moving on and live your lives together happily. You two came together again, and honestly Cori, this is the happiest I've seen Patrick since the last time you two were together. A love like what you two share is rare. Treasure it, and keep it safe. Basically, I'm saying that you're stuck with us. You're part of our little crazy family just like you were 10 years ago."

Tears dusted my eyes as Andy crossed the room, followed by Joe, Pete, and Patrick and wrapped me in a big hug. I knew I should tell them what was going on with the notes and gifts I had been receiving as of late, but I couldn't bring myself to ruin the moment. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe.


	8. Seven

**Patrick POV**

After Cori had bared her soul to me and the guys and explained why she had really left so long ago, I couldn't help but feel like I was to blame. I mean, if I hadn't been so wrapped up in my career, I would have seen the warning signs. I would have seen her distancing herself from me. I had honestly been having doubts about whether or not I could keep my career and Cori at the same time. I had decided though if it came down to it, I'd rather part with my career than Cori. She, of course, had never asked me to choose, and I was grateful, but she had been acting odd as of late and I was truly beginning to worry. Every so often, she would disappear into the bedroom and come back about 20 minutes later, looking as if she had been crying. I asked her everytime it happened if she was okay, but she would wave my concerns away stating that work was stressing her out. I didn't fully believe it, but I left it alone. If I tried to make her talk about what was bothering her, she would clam up or change the subject. I decided not to push it for now, but I was keeping my eyes on her.

  
I sat in the studio with the guys deep in thought. They knew that I was worried about Cori, so they didn't ask me to do as much as I usually would. Not that I was slacking on anything, I was just a little distracted. After the third attempt at recording my vocals, we decided to call it a day. I stepped out of the booth and looked at the guys. "I'm sorry. I'm so out of it today."

Joe stood up and stretched. "Don't worry about it, man. We understand. How is Cori doing?"

I sat down and let out a slow breath. "She's good. I know she's hiding something from me, but she won't tell me what's going on. She's been very secretive and I hate it!" I took my glasses off and scrubbed my face with the heel of my hand.

Pete sat quietly before he opened his water bottle and took a large gulp. He sighed heavily. "Look, Rick, Carol-Ann and I found something yesterday in Cori's room while we were cleaning her apartment."

I sat up and looked at him with wide eyes. He held up his hands quickly. "Don't get mad at me man. Carol-Ann told me not to say anything, but I can't keep secrets for shit. We all know this." We all chuckled at his tone before he opened his mouth again. "Anyway, she found a stack of notes that Cori had written, almost like diary entries. They were talking about the strange flower deliveries and notes that had been left for her. There wasn't much detail, but she sounded worried. Dude, I think that she thinks Shawn is obsessed with her."

My stomach turned and I actually had to run to the bathroom and purge the contents of my stomach. I knew that there was something odd about him, and this proved it to me. I washed my face and looked at myself in the mirror. I was not going to be the boy that couldn't help protect his girlfriend anymore. I left the bathroom and went back into the studio and gathered my things, leaving quickly without even saying goodbye to the guys. Something had to be done about Shawn.

The longer I was in my car, the more pissed off I got. How dare he make Cori feel unsafe! How could she keep this from me? We could have taken care of this sooner. In my rage, I hadn't realized that I had driven to Cori's office building. I knew Shawn had an office near hers, and I was going to pay him a little visit.

I got out of my car and slammed the door, not hearing three more doors slamming behind me. I marched into the building and took the stairs to Cori's floor, not wanting to wait for the elevator. Once I made it to the right floor, I started looking at the doors, searching for Shawn's office. When I saw his name, I barged in without any thought of what I was actually going to do. I passed the receptionist in the waiting room and walked right into his small office. He looked up from the paperwork he was doing and smiled uncomfortably at me.

"What can I do for you, Patrick?"

I leaned forward, my face inches from his, my eyes ablaze. "Leave my girlfriend alone."

He looked confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Cori. She's been getting notes and gifts from you and she's getting uncomfortable with it. Leave her alone or there will be consequences."

He stood up and came around the desk. "Look, I haven't even spoken to Cori in over a week. I don't know what you're talking about. Now get the hell out of my office before there are consequences." He said mirroring my words.

His tone made me even angrier and before I knew it, I had pulled my arm back and tried to swing at him. I looked behind myself and saw that Andy had hold of my fist. He shook his head at me and continued to firmly hold on to me. I looked at Shawn again and pointed my finger at him. "Don't let me hear about you bothering Cori again. I mean it."

Shawn continued to look at me slightly confused as Andy and Joe pulled me out of the office and reception area and into the hall. Once we were a distance away and waiting for the elevator, Andy let go of me and looked at me like I had lost my mind. I knew what was coming.

"What in the hell was that shit? Had we not followed you and I stopped you from hitting him, you would be sitting in the back of a fucking police car right now! You don't even know that all of the notes and gifts are from him! What the fuck were you thinking?"

I hung my head as we stepped into the elevator with Pete and Joe. "I honestly don't know Andy. I-I just don't want anything happening to Cori. I love her more than anything."

Joe put his hand on my shoulder. "We know man, but you can't go off all half-cocked over something that you can't even prove."

I nodded as we made it to the parking lot. They all looked at me sideways when I told them that I was going to sit in the parking lot for another hour while I waited for Cori to get off of work. They wouldn't let me stay alone of course, so Pete volunteered to stay with me while I waited.

The silence in the car was deafening as we sat there. Neither one of us wanted to be the first to say it, but we were both thinking that Shawn was the culprit behind the notes. Pete pulled out his phone and started playing on Snapchat as I continued to sit in silence and stew about what could possibly be going on with Cori. Why was she keeping things from me like this? I needed to figure out a way to get her to tell me what was going on with her.

Finally, the hour passed and I saw Cori exit the building with Shawn. They looked like they were in deep conversation so I didn't leave the car, instead opting for her to find me parked in my usual spot. The more I watched them, the angrier I saw her get. Oh shit, he was telling her about my outburst earlier. I saw him make gestures, mimicking what I had done before Andy had stopped me. She looked around the parking lot and found my car and we locked eyes. I knew I was in trouble by her facial expressions. Shawn looked to where her head was turned and saw me sitting in my car and his eyes widened. It was only a second or two after that, they said their goodbyes and she was walking determinedly to the car. Pete was still caught up in Snapchat, so he jumped and let out a small squeak when Cori tore open the door and just stared at us.

"Don't either one of you say a fucking word until we are at home. Both of you have some major explaining to so, and I expect the truth." She slammed the door and got into the back seat.

I nodded and started the car, quietly making my way home. If we were explaining anything, she was going to have to do some explaining of her own. The drive seemed to drag on, while a tense silence filled the car. Pete and I took Cori very seriously. Especially when she was mad about something.

Once we made it to our building and were inside my apartment, Cori made us sit down and tell her what all had happened today. Her biggest issue though had not been what I had done, but the fact that Pete and Carol-Ann had found the notes and read them all. Oh, she was plenty pissed at me because I had tried to assault Shawn, but she felt that was less of a betrayal than having her privacy invaded.

I let her rant for a while before I finally had had enough and I exploded. "You know Cori, I've been honest with you about everything since we got back together, and what do I get in return? HUH? You keeping secrets from me, and then getting pissed when I find out and try to take care of it! I'm tired of feeling like you don't trust me, even though if anyone should have trust issues it's me! You have a choice to make Cori, either you start acting like you want to be in this relationship with me, or we can end this now, and just give up on being together. I can't take your ambivalence anymore! I want to be with you for the rest of my life, but not if you refuse to let me in. I've been through thick and thin with you, but you don't seem to want us to make it. So I need to know, do you want to be with me, or would you rather continue hiding things from me and making me feel like I'll never be enough for you?"

I felt that my blood pressure had risen, and I was shaking in fury and from the sheer anxiety I was feeling. I looked at Cori and she was looking at the ground. I was afraid of what she was going to say in response, but instead of replying, she just took her purse and left the apartment. I crumpled to the floor, letting what was happening to fully sink in. I had driven her away. I had to say what was on my mind though. I hated how it all came out, but I couldn't hold my tongue any longer.

Pete sat next to me and put his hand on my shoulder. "It had to be said, dude. She's been hiding things from you for years. She'll come around though. Have a little faith."

"I know Pete, I just wish that she and I could have spoken about everything rationally. I've asked her for days what was going on and every day it was the same answer: Nothing. I-I just couldn't take it anymore."

"It's okay Patrick. You just have to give her time. She wants to be with you as much as you want to be with her. I think she's just scared."

I knew he was right. I would just give Cori her space and let her come to me when she was ready. It was going to be hard since she lived two doors down from me, but I'd be able to handle it. I could only hope that it wouldn't be too long before she came to her senses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all of this drama guys, but it has to happen. Things are going to get a little crazy from here on out. Not sure how many chapters are left tbh, but I swear I'm not giving up on this story. I'm in the midst of starting a Yuri!!! On Ice fic soon, so if you're a fan of that anime stay tuned!


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